Lost and Found

I often wonder what I would say to an old acquaintance who stumbled upon my blog or website in a random search. Even for those as recent as my college friends, I am no longer the person they remember. He is gone away. Sorry.

Born a cultural Christian, I spent my youth thinking God was a cuddly, understanding enabler. I believed he wanted me to be happy; that because I was a good person, good things would happen to me. It sure felt good to believe this. God was whoever I wanted him to be. Alas, like the point in a dream in which one realizes the details are false, I too felt something pull me away. The problem with basing faith on one's own desires and perceptions is that they constantly change; it is a tiring work of recreating a creator to fit an ever-changing worldview. I grew weary in my search.

My first mistake was thinking that I had been pursuing God my whole life; I had simply been pursuing myself. Like a cat chasing her tail, the truth I wanted so desperately to hold always slipped away. Not until the gentle hand of Jesus Christ tapped me on the shoulder and pulled me aside did I realize the futility of my own search for significance.

My next mistake was more severe. I assumed that once I knew that I was wrong in my approach, all would be made right. I joined a church, helped the youth, and played on the worship team, thinking everything would be fine. I could say that Jesus was my savior, and that He was the only way, but I did not truly understand why. Fortunately, God is full of love and grace, and He quickly set my heart in the right direction. Being the academic that I am, He led me to the bible. Over the next year, I read through the entire book, starting with the Old Testament. Reading through God's promise and plan made me yearn for a savior. I could understand my sin; knowing now that being good is not the same as being righteous.

Broken for You.

If you found me digging around the internet, I am glad. Please take this as a forwarding address to the person I now am. I would love to hear from you.


Anonymous said...

Would love to meet the new you, love Greg Zimmerman. zimmyx007@yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

Cardinal Nicholas of Cusa made clear: “Creative art, which it is the soul's good fortune to entertain, is not to be identified with that essential art which is God himself, but is only a communication of it and a share in it”.

That is why artists, the more conscious they are of their “gift”, are led all the more to see themselves and the whole of creation with eyes able to contemplate and give thanks, and to raise to God a hymn of praise. This is the only way for them to come to a full understanding of themselves, their vocation and their mission.